Now I’ll talk about it.

The body craves water. At least, it’s supposed to since we are all basically water wrapped in colorful skin bags, yet, this company has spent several years and probably invested millions of dollars creating a beverage holder that makes water taste like fruit juices. I suspect that it may be more along the lines of something that is similar to the tastes of Crystal Lite or Kool-Aid. You know, something that tastes like it’s supposed to taste like fruit, but your brain knows that there isn’t a drop of fruit juice in it.

And what is the obsession with turning water into other, “more delicious”, beverages anyway? Water is life, as anyone who is keeping up with the Trump’s race to destroy Flint’s water supply and leave a lot of people without water. Have we not been fighting for water, and now, someone comes along wanting to turn water into something else.

I’m sure at this point in life, you’ve probably met a few very interesting people who claim to hate the taste of water. The taste of water. But water is supposed to be tasteless, right? Right. And calorie-free. Which is one of the great selling points of this Right Cup. Copied and pasted directly from their IndieGogo campaign, they claim,  “It’s for people who drink water but don’t enjoy the tasteless experience. It’s for people who don’t drink enough water because they’re addicted to the sweet taste of sugary drinks. It’s for you, and if you have kids, you must read this review!“

Apparently, being tasteless is a simply horrifying quality for a beverage, offensive even, from some of the wording on the website. Am I saying that this cup is not a brilliant idea? No, I’m not saying that because this is America and anything that somebody can make a lot of money off of is a good idea. The little thing that nags at me is that the creation of this cup will take the responsibility for our own well-beings out of our hands. It’s saying that people don’t have the self-control or a strong enough survival instinct to say no to sugary drinks and fruit-free juices (let’s remember that obesity can kill you in the long run) while also padding the bank accounts of people who had a really brilliant idea, “how to capitalize on the rising obesity rates in America”.

But people have been adding things to water for years to turn it into something flavorful, and more and more often, low in calories and these cups use the miracles of science sans any additives to basically trick our minds into tasting something sweet and addiction-craving rather than the apparently undesirable water.

I do think that this could be a good product to help rid many people of their sugar addictions. As I have had a lifelong fight with turning down sweets and desserts myself, I know the constant itch and curse of sugar cravings. Though I combat my own sweet tooth with homemade smoothies and fruit, not everyone can stick to this path, and it may not work for everyone (Hell, some days it doesn’t even work for me, but I have cut back a lot on my sugar intake because of this method).

Some of the Right Cup’s other selling points include the reduction of plastic bottle waste.

But…I don’t know that that’s going to work out when they have a photo that I got directly from their campaign page of this very excited woman pouring water into her Right Cup from…a water bottle. This little piece of irony was not lost on me. As these cups do not come in bottle form yet, this assertion of reducing plastic waste is hella ridiculous. Beverages that come in bottles are convenient and portable which is why they remain in such high demand despite the push to save the planet we’ve spent centuries destroying with all of humans’ abusive habits.

This is our country crying for help. We cannot even depend on citizens to attempt to make healthy decisions on their own, and so, we must trick them into drinking something that is good for them after America has trained us all to crave things that make us fat, tired, cranky, and guilty. Guilty because that is the way of feeding the hungry little beast inside you that tells you, “It’s only one cupcake,” and then, when you’ve eaten 3 or 4, comforts you with, “You can start that diet tomorrow.”

It would be hard to deny that Right Cup is definitely thinking of all the tomorrows when you’ve digested those cupcakes and your little beast is screaming for more sugar. Hopefully, we’ll all have one of these in our favorite flavor there to trick our minds into thinking we’ve consumed something sweet. As I think more on this, I find that I doubt that these will help fight the cravings as they are being marketed as being chemical-free so how are any of us going to get the sugar high that our bodies are begging for?

We should be trying to wean ourselves off sugar the way we take babies off the tit. Many of them aren’t ready for it, but we do it anyway, don’t we? No matter how much they may crave, kick, and scream, babies cannot go back to breastfeeding, and we should not go back to sugar. Yet we do, because it is addictive, sodas are delicious, and, apparently, water is tasteless and thereby disgusting.

First, America fattens us up and now it’s trying to fix us.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

1. Are these cups a good idea?
2. Where are we drawing the line on food/drink altering products?
3. Why is it so easy to get sucked up into this tasty, greed machine?